Money for nothing

This is a place for unwinding, pondering about my futile existence, so if u feel u wana say anything good, bad or ugly....feel free and say what u feel like

Location: Delhi, India

Sunday, October 02, 2005

The Ultimate Post

Ok, Since my original post has been removed, thanks to the wonders (blunders) of technology, i am here for a rewrite. This ,by the way, for some of the regular eaders, happens to be my 42nd endeavour as a blogger, and i didnt really think i would write this much, knowing a little bit about myself. Hell, i have survived and living to tell more stories and more rants and qualms about life.

Since 42 in quizzing and Literature parlance has been described quite aptly as The Ultimate Answer, i think i would try and make this post as ultimate as possible, or close enough. So, here are the 42 things, ideas,facts,suggestions, call it what you want.this will be soulful recollection, slightly less radical than usual, hopefully. And this is some collection of 42 thoughts criss crossing my head

1. Blogwriting should be renamed to Blog Fighting. (Credit-Neha)
2. One person per blog, leaves things simple and easy to follow, no hotch-potch of 200 blogs being run at once by 5000 people!!!!!!!!!
3. Blogspot should be punished for messing up my original post. and i should be paid damages....:) I stil love it, so no hassles
4. Blogging should be about love, peace and co existence, and all the good things in between, no other stuff should be allowed.
5. More Templates and fonts, and free HTML tuts, so that people like me do a graffiti on their blogs.

moving on
6. Grunge music should be properly defined, instead of being called loud, Alice in Chains should return and kick Oxford's ass.
7. The PAAAP (pop) music of the 90's, Backstreet Boys, Spice(less) girls and co. should be honnored with Madame Tussaud statues, for ruining music for good.
8. The line
"As long as there will be music,
we will be coming back again"
Should officially be voted as the most scariest line ever in music history, considering its from a backstreet boys song.
9. Once great, now OLD bands like Metallica and U2 should pack up, they cant go any better, and the worse the fans should not witness.
10. The boy band vidoes featuring 500 hot chicks should be archived, simply because their would be a subsequent announcement of one of the members being 'Gay'.
11. MAD should do more spoofs of music artistes, rather than spoofing movies, the music spoofs are better

A bit further on
12. For my next birthday, i will get RATM, Audioslave, The Beatles and Led Zeppelin, and ofcourse, ze GOD himself, Rabbi to do a closed doors concert aptly called,
"me and F.R.I.E.N.D.S."
13 Engineering colleges should be located near civilization, of course the nearby villages grow good weed, but thats where the benefits end.
14. Ok, this is where i am a BIT radical. Movies like American pie, The Graduate and Original Sin should always be screened uncut on TV, so that the Ganda bacchas can go more ganda.
15. Beer, Petrol and whatever other indulgence people have should be provided free-of-cost, and people must have the right to pick-their-own-poison.
16. Bands which imitate the beatles shall serve their afterlife in hell, and worse.
17. uummm, k, Quentin Tarantino should make more movies and write yet more scripts, he rocks.
18. Some one will please explain the Stanley Kubrick school of movies to me someday
, which would be fun to understand,hopefully.
19. IMDB should go desi and cover indian movies.
20. OK, now for some more revolutionary ideas. Cricket and Hockey have to be outlawed and banned from a country obsessed with mediocrity and hypocrisy.
21. Our Bhakti Bhaavna must go louder, with people like Cradle of Filth , showing up and doing the Jaaagrans.
22. The Great Indian (zaleel) Laughter challenge should become a daily sitcom, that ways we can discover yet more ways of higher nonsense and laud Siddhu, who is aspiring to start a Death Metal band with shekhar suman, considering the unnecessary loud shouting and headbanging which goes on.

More Shit
23. World peace is a empty and a hoax concept, should be banned from use at beauty pageants, just to see what the Hot shot contestants come up with.
24. BCCI,as is inevitable, should be handed over to Laloo Prasad Yadav, since he has a Cricket team of his own including the extras and the coach, there would be no jhagdas and they would all use the choicest swear words from bhojpuri/maithili and do the job that present crop can't.
25. Bipasha Basu and Shahrukh Khan, along with Karan Johar, will start a fresh TV show, aptly called,"So fucking dumb yet so hep and proud".
26. The times of India will be renamed to The Crimes of India.
27. More papers and mediamen continue to achieve a Orvellesque era of Totalitarianism .

Ok, Some Creative collabarations i wish would come true

28. Quentin Tarantino and Ram Gopal Verma doing a gangster flick, multi-lingual, Similarly, David Dhawan and Monty Python,uuummmm too dreamy, is it? The first one, would be a DREAM, if there ever was one,i shall call this the 'almost_useless' dream.
29. Ok, this is my favorite, Kishore Kumar and the Marx Brothers, or better still, the kumars and the marx brothers combine along with one extra dude, and remake Seven Samurai. Leave that, just a comic musical would be awesome.
30. The goody goody things of life like music, books, movies, food and all the other stuff must be cheaper.
31. Delhi , The city of Djinns, will be a lot safer for women, and have more of a nightlife, the rowdy elements must be disposed and taken care of.
32. If only the distances in delhi would become smaller, no cops on the road, break the speed of sound.....
33. All of one's friends should be as close as possible, as Mic Jagger says," you don't always get what you want"........ You only miss people when they are not around.
34. News channels air some informative entertainment programmes rather than crime watch and whatever patrol, and some informative anchors wont hurt either.
35. I must stop living like a insomniac nocturnal nutjob and learn to sleep on time. Sadly, i cant even hope of getting this right. Somalia will upstage them all and win the soccer world cup before this happens, i am waiting for the day.
36. Message T shirts must look like graffitti boards, with multi lingual messages and as many at a time as possible :)
37. People change from their fundamentals and become more rational for their own good and for the greater good of others.
38. Some one will come and explain me some physics, some of which will make some sense to my peanut brains.
39. I will do something worthwhile for the country, so that others carry on gloating and riding this country like its a whore.
40. The Shawshank Redemption would become real and someone's HOPE will actually free them from their own demons.
41. People like me start blogging and start typing their radical, angry, uneducated, politically incorrect rants on forums and blogs and make fools out of themselves, while getting some praise along the way.
42. Somewhere in time, DNA would read this post, and would aprreciate it.....

as i have always said, i continue to HOPE...............


Blogger Me said...

dont watch a stan movie with a preconcieved notion... u'll njoy it then. and y r they so good?? there are a hundered reasons.. to start with notice the attention to detail in his flicks.

Sun Oct 02, 09:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what a brilliant post

Tue Oct 04, 03:52:00 AM  
Blogger Phoenix said...

i have been readin this post for two days now, and havent been able to decide wat to's just ULTIMATE:P

Tue Oct 04, 06:03:00 AM  
Anonymous Ambika said...

i love this post ...its so nice

Tue Oct 04, 10:54:00 AM  
Anonymous neha said...

aww... you mentioned me in the blog... i'm so flattered.

Wed Oct 05, 05:30:00 AM  
Anonymous the real thing said...

@neha : whoever u r , it wasn't u , it was me..
@a_u:u actually msgd at 4:02 a.m. exactly about the exisetence of this post..serendipity? :D
n what phoenix did for 2 days , i have been doing for 4 days..
well...plz dont say things like u2 shd stop bringing out new music..gods dont get bad...
n yeah i spent my entire 9th class humming.."as long as there is music we'll be coming back again.."
as did many others who swear by rock now.
n letsface it..they can be good at times.. :P
n while u r at it ..plz get me a library, a shopping mall, a broadband with no download limits, a laptop, an ipod n freedom from studies...

Wed Oct 05, 11:24:00 AM  
Blogger Phoenix said...

Unconnected, but I like neha's line...

gods dont get bad

Thu Oct 06, 01:20:00 AM  
Blogger almost_useless said...

@ handa- thx for tutorial man, lets c how his movies look now, im never against him, just somethin i have to develop a taste for

@ambika- i really cudnt believe u liked it so much to repeat urself twice, other people call it names, i call it forgetfulness:)

@ phoenix- thx for the 1st comment, for the second one mmm, ok, since gods arent supposed to get bad, they should quit when the time is nice

@the real thing-yes it was u, not some 1 else who's a namesake, pls use blogger ID's, and yeah B'boys used to b the sound growing up on MTV slect and what have u's, but sadly we were brought up in a orvellesque era, with a preconceived notion of the likes of pearl jam, Alice in chains and metallica and the likes being besura and too loud. Thats the only music i knw these days

U dont ask too much of life, do u? just the little necessities haan?

Fri Oct 07, 05:20:00 AM  
Anonymous ambika said...

this post is so on

Fri Oct 07, 09:41:00 AM  
Anonymous mera naam hai... said... that u isolate n put it, it actually sounds like bad it? :P
@a_u..ya ya..the very basic lil necessaties..n i give my link all the time..i get bored with my id..its fun this way :D
@ambika..tum kaun ho? kya tum iski le rahi/rahe ho?

Fri Oct 07, 10:33:00 AM  
Blogger Sinfully Pinstripe said...

Wow that was funny!

And why Kubrick? Take my suggestion. Set an ambiance and then watch 'The Shining' alone. You will know.

Fri Oct 07, 12:25:00 PM  
Blogger almost_useless said...

@sinfully- btw, that was meant to be a collection of my thoughts, somethings i wish wud happen and somethings that i want to change

kubrick is something i have to develop a taste for, very unique style of moviemaking, guess i will have to watch and learn

Fri Oct 07, 12:55:00 PM  
Blogger Nikhil said...

what should i say?!

Sat Oct 08, 06:56:00 AM  
Blogger aki said...

really worth a good read! i havent finished reading the whole thing yet..phew..cant believe u had the time to write all this! keep it up..

Sat Oct 15, 07:05:00 AM  
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