Ambition

I really dont know what to write, my life has become a farce, or whatever u wana call it. I have probably become the worst version of myself, a disillusioned young man, if there ever was one. I dont like my life, nothing about it seems appealing,a engineer, at the site where i did my training, said that i have had the oppurtunity of a lifetime to study in a reputed college and what have u's and i should make the most of it, join a job as a trainee for a year and learn more on the job, after that write IES (WHAT CRAP), so that i work with the govt and cripple them the way the rest of the country rides it like a cheap whore (pardon my lingo, with all due respect to the better half of all of us, and for due reason they are called better). Some of my frds tell me that im doin well for myself, and there are people who would die to be me. My advice to 'these' people, "pls dont waste your life here".

Heck, ambition is cruel, aint it? Its the one word which dictionary would define, but the definition, to quote Robert Frost,is, "lost in translation". For one doesnt know what are the limits of one's own ambitions. I mean seriously, if we limit our ambitions, where are we headed?
The cruel nature,however comes in play, paradoxical as it may sound. The one's that are put into this predicament are the middle class dudes and chics, they are the ones likely to rise or slump through the ranks, so to speak. For the filthy rich, education is a luxury and the poor kids are too poor to afford a education, which makes me sad. And they are the ones who are made to grovel and persevere, for belief and hope is their life, having a career is something they live for, and boy when they achieve it, the serenity of it all is something out of this world.

But the paths followed are treacherous and really testing, and boy do they test you out. And herein lies the test of character and desire, for the fiercer that u get, the better chance u have. A pinch of luck wont do you any harm, though. This whole post is a reflection on the state of affairs of my life these days. You are out on the weekend with frds, smoke pot on saturday night, get up really late on sunday and decide to sit for a mock, some how land up with a decent rank and improved performance from your last one. and then the hydra headed thing (wont call it evil though) called ambition rolls in your head again, and u start to think. You think how you have dug up a grave for urself, where things went wrong, how cud u mess up something that meant a way of life to u???

A million q's that zip thru my head, i struggle for answers. And i have something to hang on to, something that all of us do, ambition.......