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Location: Delhi, India

Friday, August 26, 2005

When will they learn?

India, or "Team India" (???) as our beloved media calls them, capitulate and grovel to another defeat. What started as a promising day ended in familiarity with more and more questions, than answers, and with every game they play the problems only worsen. The reasons are not known to anyone i know, maybe, because our players make different ones for losing each contest. And they create new problems along the way. Welcome to 'Team' India.

This is not a first, it has been going on since the WC 2003, and if one looks either side of it, the picture looks gloomy. The tour to NZ was a disaster, with two wins out of 7, so much so, that people wanted India to beat NZ in South africa, as a 'Revenge' for the earlier tour. As fair as sport is, this is exaggarating the definition to the point that you send a David Dhawan movie for the best foreign language Oscar.

Here is a bunch of fatsos, higly overpaid, and even more highly sought after, who cant bat, bowl and the fielding, dont get me started on that. Everyone wants to run their mouths so much, and they want their commercials even more. Sehwag has even gone on record saying that his restaurant serves as a retirement plan for him, which the other players have also made. I think he should retire, the way he has been batting, the biggest hype in the country, bigger than any of the sleazy movies releasing every other friday. Everytime he scores double digits, please phodo a naariyal, and distribute the praasad, and keep the peel for savoring it later.

And there's Yuvraj Singh, who's more interested in visiting discs, doing interviews and ads, and most importantly screwing kim shrama. For i cant remember the last time he scored any runs of note, batting against a delhi league level west indies team can't be considered. the man seriously needs to get it together in his head, he will disappear faster than Kambli. I have always been a yuvraj fan, it hurts me to see a matchwinner struggle. he cant be the spoilt boy next door, he must grow up to be a man.

Dhoni should opt out and endorse l'oreal, recently thats all he has done barring another lethal conrtribution, dropped catches. He cant play 158 matches on one knock, pls talk some sense into his head, dont knw who, but god will send his angels and maybe things change. Kaif should sit out and sell products, like all the three others mentioned above. And causing run outs in vital finals is another one of his fortays.

There is one Sachin Tendulkar missing from the list, someone who has been caring bowlers of all kinds all over the grounds all over the world. After 18 years, he has had his share of injuries and recoveries, but the wear does show. He has won man of the match for opening, batting in the mid and lower mid order, and even his bowling. And somehow people claim that he is self centered. My barber and i have the most animated discussion when i need a haircut, and he often calls him names i dont wana mention or hear, but life is fair and many others like him are learning their lessons now.

What hurts is even with a coach as masterful and dedicated as Greg Chappel, they play like shit, and the blame is always left on Sourav and Dravid. They have won more games than dhoni will play in, and yet they are cursed for the performances (lack of). And in the last game just as Pathan and Yadav got a sniff of victory, they promtly apologized and surrendered their wickets, i wish india was bowled out for less than 50, atleast thoda dil ko sukoon milta and would have seen the briliant ashes series unfold, one, for once, gets to see cricket.

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